There are better places to put your cell phone than...

the edge of the sink next to the toilet

the door pocket of your car, that throws everything out when slammed shut

underneath any sort of tire

the pocket of your dirty jeans headed for the wash

Dwight's jello

the dash bench in the front window (sizzle, sizzle)

your classroom desk, available to all students

a window sill, open for all to enter or exit

and

in the hip of your bathing suit.  especially when wearing said bathing suit while on "loading the waverunner" duty, which requires you to be in the lake.  hips included.

blast.

of course i am annoyed at the amount of money i cost myself for not thinking.   i am especially regretful of the notes i had tucked away in there.  like the ones i took recently while listening to an interesting 2 a.m. conversation at Huntington Beach.  irretrievable.  

blast.

p.s.  if my drowned phone had your number in it, please send it to me.

it was only 107 degrees today!  woot, woot.

Open Culture

i just found a great new site:

www.openculture.com

from this you can access many different FREE university lectures from some of the top schools around the country.  click on some of the samples below:

African American History: The Modern Freedom Struggle

Historical Jesus

Introduction to Non-violence

Man, God and Society in Western Literature

Death

Justice, A Journey in Moral Reasoning

Biology

Introduction to Human Nutrition

i am going to first go through The American Novel Since 1945

yum.

you can also download educational podcasts and learn Spanish.  

it's my new favorite site.

I Got Dumped

last Saturday i went kayaking with my roommate and friends down some river that is pretty calm.  it was my first time.  i loved it.  i love water.  i love boats.  i loved my rowing class in Philadelphia, so i figured this was just a rougher extension.  

mandy the roommate (my second roommate named Amanda, both of similar looks, come to think of it) put me in the lightest kayak.  i guess this means it naturally goes the fastest.  a mile or so down the river, i ended up significantly ahead of the rest.  just around the river bend, i noticed rapids and the river forking around a chunk of land.  i was unconcerned, as i'd already gone over a bit of roughness before when i was still with everyone, and it was all smooth sailin'.  since i'd noticed the others a bit worried about me making it over the first ones,  i was sort of excited to go at these alone and have to figure out how to balance and steer.  i was pocahontasly confident that such dexterity would come naturally. 

the elements of nature like to find ways to humble us when we consider them so lightly.

i did well over the first half of the stuff, adding to my pompousness.  then my kayak stopped heeding my direction, and began following a current that was headed for a big ol' bunch of trees hanging down over the river.  no biggie.  i made it past one branch.  then the next.  and i never had to deal with the third.  that's because somehow i was suddenly under the kayak instead of in it.  it was like someone had picked the kayak up like a cup of water and dumped me in the sink.  glass of heather on the rocks.  i thought at that moment that now would have been a good time for a life jacket, but i didn't dwell on that much. nor did i mourn more than an "argh" at my suddenly bare feet.  i was more concerned about keeping the kayak.  i grabbed it and snagged the oars.  realizing it wasn't going to flip back over (i'd forgotten to ask what to do if i got dumped) i just did my best to hop on top and ride it out.  

so, i lost my shoes by kept the boat.  fair trade.  i'd do it again.  that silly river, it was nothin'.  

I Didn't Mean Anything By That

a man answered a particular door i knocked on tonight, surrounded by little kids.  he said he was interested in the service, but could i come back in a month?  

then the following conversation really happened:

me: "no problem.  what's your name, sir?"

the man surrounded by kids: "(klfjeiojvklm)ike."  this was inaudible.

me: "hm?  Dike?"

no joke.  of all letters to chose to throw before ike, i pulled out a D.  so, like, Dyke.  

the man surrounded by kids:  cocks his head to the side--"Mike."

me:  half gasp, half shriek--"i can't believe i just asked if your name is Dyke."

both of us start laughing.  i am also grimacing.

me: "i'm really glad you have a sense of humor."

the man surrounded by kids: "i have to, look at all these kids."

me: "so can i still come back in a month?"

the man:  "yes."

a few hours pass by.  i am going back through the neighborhood, running to some houses that asked me to return that night.  

i see a man out on his lawn talking to some blonde girl.  i fail to make any connection to my earlier horror moment.

me: "hey!  how's it going?  do you have p----"

the man on the lawn with the blonde: "you were already here.  you're coming back in a month.  you called me Dyke."

blonde girl, laughing: "she called you what?  how did she know?"

me, escaping: "i'll see you in august."

Dyke: "can't wait."