Anjelica Huston Has Weird Hair

my poor parents. they've been waiting so long for me to give them a grandchild. since they are kind and sensitive in general, they were patient and unassuming for the first 13 of my childlessbearing years. but that didn't work and they are taking a different approach these days.

a phone conversation at Christmastime, while in a car with my pervy friend Steve:

me, unsuspecting: "Hi, Dad."
Dad: "Heather, I need a grandson."
me: "I know, Dad. I'll work on that."
Dad: "Soon. Just get it done."
me (foolishly): "I'm with Steve right now. I'll see what he can do."
Steve gets the jist of the conversation and recognizes a window of opportunity.
He attempts to get in the driver seat with me.
me: "Steve, get off. Dad, because of you Steve is trying to jump me."
Dad: "Lay back, relax, and open up."
me: "I'm hanging up now."

then, yesterday, from my mother via text:

Mom: "G'mornin. I decided what we can name your daughter. Angelica."

it was waaaay too early in the morning for such talk and i was unamused. the only response mustered was, "?"

Mom: "Yeah. I watched a movie last night with Anjelica Huston and like the name. We can nickname her Little Angel."
me: "Mom please name your own kid that."

let's review the problems here.
1. "WE"??
2. my daughter? that's called counting your chickens before they're concieved.
3. ANGELICA? any name consisting of four or more syllables is old before it gets out of your mouth.
4. she wants to name her progeny after a vampire? let's face it, at the rate i'm going she's likely not going to get very many granddaughters in the first place. you'd think she'd not want to waste names.

the conversation went on.

Mom: "What should we name your first son?" (again, "WE"?)
Me, giving in: "I have no idea. What do you suggest?"
Mom: "How about Lane, Layne---like Lanet (her name)? As in Heather Lanet? Huh yeah!"
i'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming she was simply in a weird punk mood.
i told her the closest i'd get to either of those is "Lint."
she vetoed and the discussion is over.

if you ever need to end a crazy conversation with your mother, you just act more crazy and she will stop talking so as to not encourage you.