Thursday, March 26, 2009

Whoa Tarzan

my new friend Trisha called me up this afternoon and asked me to go country dancing with her.  i love to dance, but not usually with people since i can find no one's rhythm but my own. it sounded fun though so i said yes.  the place had this sign posted, which i thought was quite funny.


i haven't been in Utah Mormondom for quite a while.  i'd forgotten what the mass social dance scene was like since i outgrew institute dances when i was like 19.   in the country dance realm, it's full of lots of early-twenty-somethings excited to show off their muscles.  

one kid was swinging me around with particular intensity.  i think he felt hot in his tight Hollister t-shirt.  and he was quite excited about the speed with which he was able to twirl himself around.  

after i guess he was satisfied that i wasn't going to let go, he asks me, 

"How strong are your stomach muscles?" 
"Uh...they work."
"Well, like, can you hold yourself up in a lift?  'cause, see, i wanna do this lift."
"what kind of lift?"
"how about this, how stiff can you hold your body?"
"WHAT are you trying to do?"

then he just lifted his two arms as if they were pushing up a barbell far above his head.

"No."

dude.  who are you?  do you seriously think i trust you enough to let you put me up in the air like that?  right.
that's like kissing on the first date.  you need to do a little more to get that than flexing your biceps.  in fact, you have to be really good.  and probably foreign.

big biceps are nast.

side note: speaking of dancing and foreigners, in Brasil i was told, "you're a really good dancer.  except you dance like an American girl."

5 comments:

Tamara said...

that was an excellent story to wake up to! i remember those days when i lived in provo. reading your story brought back some funny memories. a man in a hollister shirt is nast! and yes please on the foreign men.

Trishelle said...

HAHAHA! Heather, I could totally envision your story. Your so right: big biceps are very much over rated!

Derek Bitter, M.A. said...

i wish i read this before i spent half my paycheck on hollister shirts.

Derek Bitter, M.A. said...

and look on the bright side heather, at least they had that "no grinding" sign up there

Heather Bankhead said...

i know, the no grinding sign definitely made me more comfortable.