i haven't posted anything on here for about ever. i would not be good at running my own business, with my tendency of a short attention span for projects. you should see my kitchen walls.
i am grateful today for family. my Uncle Jubal died last week and this has made me realize not only how much i love my family, but especially how significant is my mom's new borrowed time for life.
Jubal was Jubal Troope Ritter. he was named after a character in a Western novel my Grandma was reading when she was preg. when he referred to himself, he called himself Jubal T. he is really tall and skinny, with very dark skin. we all wondered (though never out loud to Grandma before she died, unfortunately) if Jubal was really from the same father as the rest of our aunts and uncles. i think he is Mexican. or Native American. he also has this incredibly thick, wild hair, which he often wore in a red bandana. he recently got dentures and they were bright, bright white. he was always excited to talk about his job, and he told me recently that he got a life insurance policy and he put me as the beneficiary. then later i heard that he told my cousin Jill the same thing. basically, he just liked to make people happy, even if it didn't always make sense. today is his 51st birthday. Happy Birthday, Uncle Jube.
it is not news to anyone who reads this that my mom has been sick for the past few months. that is actually the main reason i haven't updated the blog--the illness was the only thing going on in my life and it was difficult for me to talk about. i still really dislike discussing it. 'not sure why. but, i still appreciate the love and concern and the effort of inquiry that so many people have shown.
Mom was supposed to die in April. then, she was supposed to die before Mother's Day. well, today she is still alive and kickin'. walking, actually, which is significant as there was a time that she couldn't even get out of bed, couldn't even open her eyes, couldn't even recognize me. hooray for a healing body! she is now on schedule for a transplant, as long as she can last 6 more months. fingers are crossed.
her illness has been hard on me. but, i am very grateful: 1. to be able to serve her so intimately 2. to have a chance to be a better person. i like that my mom is giving me this chance to become better. it's a chance to love someone completely selflessly. there's not a person that one should/could love more selflessly than one's own mother. i committed a while ago that despite the hardship, i will not let myself be annoyed, bitter, or regretful. but, that i'd let my mama teach me one more lesson on loving.
this morning as we were talking about Uncle Jubal, Mom said, "Maybe he took my place in dying." Sad. Maybe he did. It is his last sacrifice. i am sorry for his life ending, but will continue to be ever grateful for hers extending.
3 comments:
I remember Uncle Jubal. We met him once when your Mother and he dropped in here in Logan for a visit--you must have been here. Can't remember the details, but I do remember meeting Uncle Jubal.
oh yeah! i remember that day.
Funny, my friend's husband looked at my wedding pictures and said, he is mexican, or maybe half black. Then at his memorial Aunt Deb and I were talking and she couldn't figure out if one of the girls that was there was one of Karl's neices, and she said she doesn't look mexican but if she is who I think she is then she is mexican, it made me laugh, I said, "Do I look like my father's daughter?" She said, "No, good point"
Hmm maybe he did take your mom's place to give her more time....
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