Differences of Opinion

When you tell people that you're going on a 7-day, 7-night cruise with someone you barely know, responses will vary:

Me: "I'm going on a cruise with a man that I sort-of know."

Friend A: "Of course you are."

Friend B: "You didn't meet this guy online, did you?"

Grandmother-figure: "Please bring me back a magnet."

Mom: "Do you think you're going to fool around?" followed by my first real Birds and the Bees Talk.

Co-worker: "I'll get you the best-ever waterproof mascara."

Boss: "Are you going to end up moving somewhere? Because I just got you trained."

Friend D: "What if you get chopped up and thrown overboard? Haven't you seen Dexter?"

Guy friend: "Sweeeeeeeet."

Friend E: "Am I supposed to talk you into your senses or be supportive right now?"

Boss #2: "Exactly how funny is this guy?"

Friend D: "There are a lot of places you can go on a cruise ship to get away from someone."

Co-worker #2: Glare.

Aunt: "I have a velvety, sparkly dress for you to wear in case you have dinner with the captain."

Cousin: "What did your mother say?"

Cousin's husband: "hee hee hee..."

Parents: "Please get pregnant."


It's against my religion to get pregnant on a cruise ship, so no worries there.

I am back and unchopped; maybe a little bit sparkley, as the sun will do that to you.

the cafe´

i´m sitting in a little internet cafe´ using a keyboard i don´t understand to write this. just to give an idea of what it´s like, i´m not correcting any typos from now on.

i´m in mexico, and definitely the keyboard is not the only thing i don´t understand. despite that, i am very surprised by the high amount of English-friendly signs, menus, etc. around. we just ate at a great little restaurant <(whose plants that were hanging from the ceiling were real, not fake like we are used to.) it sort of bugs me when English overtakes a country´s language, even if just for a few streets. oh my heck. in my attempt to not correct the typos, i just deleted half of this post. lame. buttons that erase that are so close to my pinky fingers are scary. i typed most of my blog posts in brazil from various internet cafes. i was better at it then because i´d had more practice. these are some of the characters i miss<<<<<<<<<<<<< i can´t find the shift key, otherwise that would have been a colon. ªº?¿ñÑçÇ okay, i have to get out of here. more stories later.

this computer just told me to ¨´ESPERE´´. my favorite Spanish and Portuguese word. please ignore my punctuation.

When It's Light

dating details and experiences rarely if ever show up on my blog. i've realized lately it's a shame. my and my friends' dating lives are a breeding ground (not really) of amusement.

a story about ________ (blank pseudonym to protect the awkward).

_______ is my good friend. she is normally of classy, feminine behavior, which is why the following story is so odd, yet funny.

______ had just begun dating a particular guy, and was in the midst of the deliriousness of a great new relationship. she calls me one day, contempletive.

_____: "Heth, i'm in the middle of a funny text conversation with (New Guy). he sent me one telling me he's sick, and asking if i was, too. i responded 'why would I be sick?' (insert _____'s throaty giggle). he said he assumes i didn't get that hot a grade in biology."

me: "ha."

_____: "so then i said, 'i have explosive diahrrea and rashes.'"

me (alarmed): "did you already send that?"

_____: "yes! but i'm not really sick, i'm just kidding."

me (confused): "no, you are sick. why would you say that?"

_____: "because it SOOO funny. i know he'll laugh. but he hasn't responded yet and it's been a while now..."

me: "i have to say i'm not surprised."

i'm not a bathroom-humor appreciator. so, i could not laugh with her at her little joke. but i was definitely laughing at her.

the conversation continues, she telling me about their latest emotionally-heavy conversation and other things of serious nature i won't mention.

me: "______, i think you need to ease this up a bit. it's getting too intense too fast. keep it light, keep it light!"

______: "i know! i am trying--that's why i said the diahrrea joke."

awesome.

A Kickin' Christmas Present

i'm a bad gift-giver in general, and an especially bad one when it matters most--Christmas and my Best Friends' Weddings. this is apparent in my loved ones' lives in two ways: they either get nothing or they get something they don't like. my dad, for instance, has recently told me to stick to only giving him golf balls.

he already has buckets of balls.

there is one person that i am particulary good at giving presents to. it's Rachel (this girl), and she makes me. Rach is a great gift-giver. i realized the implications this would have on my life when we were new friends and i prepared her taxes for her, in return (haha) she gave me VS lotion as a thank-you gift. since then i've come to understand that i always am supposed to give presents.

this past Christmas we met up for a little Christmas shopping. something about Old Navy made us both realize neither of us needed any more clothes. so we decided to give each other a kickboxing class instead.

oh, yes.

tonight will be our first class. to find it, i had this conversation:

"hello. this is Master Tom."
"hi. i'm looking for a kickboxing class for my friend and i to take. do you do that?"
"miss, how did you get this number?"
"from ilovekickboxing.com"
"of course we have classes."
"okay, but i just want, like, a cardio class. i don't want to beat anyone up."
pause.
"well, it just depends on what you want ultimately, miss. just come on in. you can get a free pair of boxing gloves and three intro classes for $19.99. ask for me, i'm Master Tom. i call myself Master because i got credentials."

since i don't like extra stuff laying around my house, and i am not interested in punching anyone, the free gloves almost turned me off.

but instead, we signed up.

i'm not quite sure exactly what we signed up for, but i'm sort of excited.

Happy Hallie

My little niece Hallie just had her 1st birthday. Here are some pictures I've collected of her first year. I love this girl madly.

Happy Thanksgiving

I held Thanksgiving this year. Basically it was because I like to cook, and I like to be in charge. So, Thanksgiving dinner is a good time to bring those two things together.

It was great.

Look at this shiney, healthy mother!

Dad Fred and Fay, all the way up from Zuni, NM!

Jeremy and Courtney. Jeremy is my friend from France, so I'd thought we'd through a little French spice into the mix. Court is my cousin and roommate--a big help cooking cooking cooking.

Get ready for the yams! They are my mom's specialty.

You just can't carve a turkey without an electric knife, as Dad Jerry pointed out.

Best stuffing ev. This recipe: Apple Sausage Stuffing

Ry and Emily. After-dinner visit with cousins. Wait--you may say, "this kid is not your cousin!" and you would be correct. He's my friend who is dating my cousin. Happy Thanksgiving, bring people together.

Welcome Back

the pitiful state of my blog-keeping has been pointed out to me by numerous persons. i am succombing to pressure and updating. don't think less of me.

the months since june 22 have been quite eventful. a rundown:

I...

• started a relationship
• ended a relationship
• had a new roommate move in
• got a cat
• same roommate moved out
• she took the cat
• continued to love love love my niece Hallie
• started a new job
• new-apartment searched
• had a birthday
• lost my grandpa
• bought a great pair of boots
• lost a bet due to said boots
• changed my mind about numerous things
• went to a fab concert
• heard the miraculous news that my mother's liver function has gone from dead to 69% alive.

and, finally,

• made some good decisions about how to respond to complicated situations.

i will expound on some of these things next, in less than six months.

Trip Across the South

One of the great blessings of my life is to have so many friends that live in so many places. It almost seems that anywhere I need to go, I know someone in that city and I can't crash at their place. I love visiting friends and having them show me around their lives.

Hooray for being a teacher and having summers off! Free to do whatever I want. This year, I'm traveling around the South to see some of my best girlfriends.

The itinerary is this:

Meeting Mare in Atlanta, GA
Staying at her house in Athens for a bit
Meeting Nellene in Chattanooga, TN
Visiting her place in Nashville
Back to Mare's
Road trip with Mare to DC
Mare drops me off at Joy's in Richmond, VA
Meet back up with Mare in DC to visit Audrey
Travel down to Savannah, GA
Find Trishelle in that charming little town
Spend a few days with Trish and fam in Jacksonville, FL
Then...

I am yet to buy my ticket home, so who knows.

Glitter

my favorite gift for my last birthday was a pink, glittery bouncy ball. it was from my sister. possibly i loved it for its sharp contrast from my then-boyfriend's gift, which revealed all too clearly that we needed to break up; possibly it was because i liked that on my 31st birthday--an "old woman" birthday--i was given a child's toy; possibly it was because i appreciated that Kaylee understood why that particular present was the perfect thing to give me.

probably it was simply something that i have left over from my childhood: a thing for bouncy balls. and, as with most things, the glitterier the better.

i also as an adult woman still love twirly skirts. i even brought two with me on my little trip.

this tendency for girly things explains why, when at dusk Nellene in Nashville said, "Heather, go look out the door. You will love it," she was right. out side her sweet little farmhouse, the fields that spread in front of it were sprinkled with twinkling fireflies. such a sight is purely delightful to me.

not to say that boys can't appreciate fireflies. but i will venture to say they don't like them for the same reasons i do.

from that night on, we went on walks in the night as often as we could, just to be in the fireflies. besides the people here, these just might be my favorite things about the South.

there are many wonders to behold about modern technology. it's amazing how much convenience is added to our lives because of it.

facebook, for instance, definitely comes in handy beyond just checking up on old friends. it can also prove your identity.

one night Nellene and i went to a club in East Nashville to listen to music. much to my chagrin, i realized right before we went in that i'd left my ID back at the house. Argh! #1: listening to live music is one of the purposes to Nashville, and to do that one actually needs to get into the club; #2: who leaves their ID hanging around by itself? bad babysitter.

not willing to give up easily, we ventured into the club anyway. oddly, the "bouncer" at the door just nodded at us and let us pass. he was more concerned with his laptop and cigarette than us. besides, we look like good girls.

i was confused. what?-- no cover? what?-- no ID? seeing the large bar that took up the majority of the little room, i knew that wasn't possible. so, much to Nellene's chagrin this time, i went back and spoke up.

"um...are we going to have to show ID? because i don't have mine."

the bouncer looks at me like i'm an idiot. "of course i have to see your ID."

then ensues a conversation about how i'm not going to drink, how we are obviously over 21, how we came clear from Salt Lake City, how he wasn't going to ask us anyway, and how all of this really didn't freaking matter; i still needed my ID.

eventually, he goes and asks the manager. it was to no avail.

i think because he once played music himself at some club in SLC and Nellene started talking to him about it (even though neither of us knew what place he was talking about), he eventually agreed to at least let me through and try to sway the manager myself.

now, i know i have a certain level of skill in the use of my feminine prowless. it has come to my aid on a few choice occasions and i am positive there have been jobs i landed due to flirting. the Teach for America gig I definitely did not get based on my academic background. my final interviewer had a mini crush on me, and i definitely milked that. this is not bad, it is survival. if ya got it, use it.

so, when i walked up to the manager and saw his response to me, i knew all would be ok. a few little tricks, him sighing in feigned exasperation, and finally, the solution:

"Do you have a facebook account that will show your age?"

victory.

and that is how i got into the club in Nashville with out my ID. i knew i wore that red lipstick for a reason.

The Farm House

Nellene is one of my best friends from college. she was my advisor for a service club i directed. despite her best efforts to keep her relationship with her students professional, i won by making her my friend as well. eventually we were roommates in Logan, she road-tripped to me in Denver, flew to me in Philly, and let me sleep in her SLC bed a few years ago when my mom was in the hospital down the street from her. that is a true friend: someone willing to share their bed for 6 toasty summer weeks.

i value many things in Nellene. one of the greatest is her ability to help me understand myself. she's taught me much about patience, about relationships (a piece of her advice still rings in my ears: Let go of people who are bad for you), and about who i want to be as a woman.

Nel is recently married and now living in Nashville, TN with her husband Brian. they have a charming little farmhouse that belongs in Anne of Green Gables Land. AnneLand.














Perfect little Dream House!

Sammy

not only do Nellene and Brian have a perfect little home in Dreamland, TN, they also have a very pretty baby. Samuel. i know you aren't supposed to call boys pretty, but he is. he can talk to me about this adjective when he's older.

Pretty, Pretty Tennessee

I can't get over how dang pretty it is here. Behold:








Don't be alarmed by the baby on the railroad tracks. We were feeling for the train. Like good, responsible people.